And one more thing about this whole kippah thing that I just posted about.
Since my Bar Mitzvah, whenever I’ve had to wear a kippah, I’ve worn the one that my dad had made for my Bar Mitzvah. It’s a knitted kippah, but not as small, lightweight and flexible as your classic Modern Orthodox kippah srugah sort of thing. In short, it’s hard to forget that it’s there. I can always feel it, bearing down on me. (I put those words in italics to give you a sense of the little involuntary curl my lip developed as I typed them.)
But I recently came into possession of an assortment of the smaller ones that are so common among habitual, non-Chareidi kippah wearers. So far, I’ve been wearing one of those to services.
Pros of wearing the bigger one
- Forgetting it’s there: It’s become an issue of identity: I don’t wear kippot and I’ve made a conscious chose not to. So it’s good to wear one that’s slightly uncomfortable. It means I can never forget it’s there and accidentally become accustomed to wearing one or forget to take it off when I leave.
- It’s green, which is my favorite color.
- It’s a slightly odd shape and it’s a brighter color so it stands out. It lets people know that I don’t usually wear one.
- My dad got it for me. He has a matching one in blue.
Pros of wearing the smaller one
- It’s more comfortable. What I said about the pros of wearing the bigger one aside, it might better to wear something that allows me to be relaxed about it than to wear something that reminds me I’m doing something I object to doing.
- It’s more innocuous in size and color so I look less like some uncouth loon who doesn’t know what he’s doing. But I kind of like being that guy, so maybe this is a con? Damn.
Whatever. You get the point.
Your inevitable suggestions that I’m over-thinking this are not needed at this time.